On Monday I wrote a post about insecurity...then deleted it because I didn't think it was very good. Later that night Cory and I were talking and he suggested, I believe accurately, that my insecurity is my greatest liability. While I'm very intentional about doing the things that I'm afraid of so as not to be a slave to my insecurity, my life sure would be easier and less stressful if I was more confident about things (Cory's life would also be easier and less stressful, but he doesn't complain about this. He just encourages me while refuses to enable neediness; he's a good man).
A few days ago a student who realized he was tired of being so insecure asked, "How do you work on becoming less insecure?" I didn't have a good answer because I don't know.
I don't question my value as a human being and I'm growing in my ability to embrace the value that God declares I have has is child, but it doesn't give me confidence that I'm making a difference in someone's life, or the confidence that people want to be around me, or the confidence that I will be a good teacher once I get the opportunity.
I am so afraid of thinking I'm better than I am that I compensate by thinking I'm worse than I am. Obviously the best way to respond, right?
How do we become less insecure, more confident? How can I learn to trust feedback, good and bad? How will my life change if I lived more confidently?
Okay, don't laugh. I have a theory on insecurity and it's flip-side cousin pride and how to beat them both.
ReplyDeleteIt's less self in general. Honestly, when we are focusing on ourselves - analyzing every word and pore, trying to create a good impression, wondering constantly how we being perceived, we will lose ourselves in ourselves. There is no way out except to ask God to make us secure in our identity in Him and instead to focus outward on the people He's placed in our lives and on the tasks He's given us.
I'm super old to be just learning this. Turns out, John had it right when he said , "He must increase, I must decrease." I am most happy, secure, and confident when I am not thinking of myself much at all. In this self-obsessed culture, a woman who has truly "centered herself" in God stands out. (Not that a great haircut doesn't help! ;)
With Jesus, it's always about relationship. I read a brilliant quote recently that says "Our goal should be to maintain eye contact with Jesus, not just memorize more facts about Him." Eyes on Him means my eyes aren't on me.